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One week to go.

I have an pain in my head whenever I tense my jaw, supposedly from clenching my jaw�too much when Iapos;m stressed. Now it hurts to eat. I get a headache every second day and not enough sleep. At least for the past few days.

Aside from that, nothing new. Random fits of tears or laughter, brought on by nothing at all. Yesterday I wrote 1000 words in about an hour. Today I canapos;t bring myself to get off these kind of websites and get back into it. Iapos;ve started making a list of all the things Iapos;m going to do when I finish. And at the same time, Iapos;m not ready to finish, because Iapos;m not ready to just accept that Iapos;ll probably get a lower grade than I was aiming for. Iapos;m constantly told, "donapos;t worry, youapos;ll pass" and I find that hilarious. Of course Iapos;ll pass. If I were worried about passing, I shouldnapos;t be doing honours. But thereapos;s less chance Iapos;ll get first class honours and that really depresses me, since it seems like thatapos;s the whole point of doing honours. Plus, itapos;s too late now to really change any aspect of my thesis.�I feel like I put in so much work but it just isnapos;t enough. And now it seems like this entire year has been wasted. I submitted a chapter to my supervisor and was told it was "really good". I have no idea what "really good" means. I was afraid to ask if "really good" meant that I was capable of getting an A or not.

The draft of the whole thing is due by Tuesday. Iapos;m not that worried, I only have another two thousand or so words�to write. I actually have far too much information and will have to cut a lot out. My material is good, I make valid points and all the rest. But it reads�like I vomited into a Word document. Itapos;s so unstructured and patchy. And sometimes I think Iapos;m focusing on the wrong points, theyapos;re not as strong as Iapos;d like them to be.

I feel like Iapos;m going insane. Right now I want nothing more than to curl up on my bed and sleep but there are clothes on there. Even though it would take me all of ten seconds to pick up the clothes and put them somewhere else. And I wonapos;t sleep because I havenapos;t fulfilled my 1000 word quota for the night. I have to eat, even though I donapos;t want to. And now Iapos;m clenching my jaw again.

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